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Comment from attendee of “The Wedding Reception from Hell”:

“Don’t say I was there!”

Chapter 27 Broken Ass

Comments: Limitations of the revolver:

“Everyone was running out of bullets.”

Detective Sergeant Joe Burgoon and Captain Joe Spiess SLMPD following the capture of a bank hold-up man.

Chapter 15 Have Gun

Observations: Limited value of the snub nose .38:
“If you want to hit somebody with it, throw it at them.”

Officer Bill Leahy SLMPD.

Chapter 2 The Police Academy

Explanation against a threat to Resist Arrest:

“You’re a big guy and can probably whip me and the next ten cops who show up...but you see there are 2,000 of us. Sooner or later your arms are gonna get tired.”

Patrolman Kenneth McBride SLMPD

Chapter 13 The Walls Have Ears.

Conning a mentally unbalanced weight-lifter into accepting a free ride to Murmur Manor:

“We know you can cure the sick so why not come to the hospital with us now?”

“Mr. Biceps” grabbed his medical books (the Yellow Pages) and said, “Let’s go.”

Officer Bill Samuels SLMPD pulled this off without ever taking his hands out of his pockets.

Chapter 13 The Walls Have Ears.

Shrinkage: Recovered loot stored in Report Room pending inventory. Suggesting we lock the room brought this response:

“Bill…We're in a Police Station!”

Guess what happened…

Patrolmen Don Kricho and Bill Leahy SLMPD

Chapter 7 Partners.

Pistol Range inaccuracy as explained by the Range Officer:

“If there is a problem hitting the target, the “problem” is from the handle back”.

Corporal Chris Anton SLMPD

Chapter 2 The Police Academy

"...Almost three months later to the day, Tex and Manuel were in their shoeshine stand at 14 th and St. Louis when a shot rang out and Tex got it in the back of the head. The fatal shot came from the back of the store...someone had shot him as he stood with his back to the door glass...a clean whack job with no witnesses and precious little evidence as to who "put the hat" on Tex. I know murder is murder, but no one really gets too worked up over solving this sort of crime. Truth be known, many of these types have been taken out by one of their own. There were certain old timers who were masters at setting these people against one another just by innuendo...the suspicious nature of the criminal mind did the rest."

"It was common knowledge back in the fifties that Frank "Buster" Wortman was the crime boss of the downstate Illinois rackets operations and that the Feds were always tracking him, waiting for him to make a mistake. We also know that seldom do these guys slip up at their primary occupation but like Al Capone and others, they often get tripped up for failure to pay income tax"

"A reporter asked Detective John Doherty how ex-con Isadore Londi received so many injuries when he reportedly "fell down the stairs." John explained: "He might have fallen down the steps several times."

There were no further questions.